Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Jen: I miss having Marines at the ready ... I'm going to kidnap a few from Fleet Week.

Meli: It's not like your basement is doing anything else, it might as well house a few pets.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

While watching the 25th Anniversary Concert of Les Miserables on PBS:

Vic: "You said Lea Salonga was in this? Is she Fantine? This Fantine is Asian..."
Rob: "Honey, that actress isn't Asian."
Rob [taking a closer look]: "No, that's just some Hawaiian girl."

[Fantine dies and a pledge break begins]
Announcer: "And that was Lea Salonga in the role of Fantine."

Sunday, October 24, 2010

While watching a DVRed episode of The Martha Stewart Show on Maker Faire:

A disinterested Martha talking to Latina girls about a bike they modified into a giant "Girlzilla": "So you're the designated driver?"

Girl: "Yeah."

Rob, talking for Martha: "You know, Brown Girls, we have something in common. I went to jail, too!"

[Vic dies laughing.]

Later...

Martha, still bored, but trying hard to comment on the EggBot: "It looks really complicated."

The inventor: "It's really not."

Vic: "Math: It works, bitches!"

Sunday, July 25, 2010

While watching "I Didn't Even Know I Was Pregnant":

Woman, upon finding out she is not only pregnant but in labor: "What am I going to do?!?"
Vic: "You're going to have a baby, that's what you're going to do."
Rob: "Too late to do anything about it now."
(beat)
Rob: "Blog that before we forget about it."

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Vic: http://order.1and1.com/xml/order/tariffswitch;jsessionid=3AA6968C87C66437C97320FFFAE672B7.TCpfix141a?__frame=_top&__lf=Static free .com for a year... "no strings attached" hmm

Gary: They probably either put something awful on your computer or they ask you to hide a body in your basement. That's my guess anyway

Friday, December 25, 2009

Rob: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ7WHw8Y&NR=1&feature=fvwp
Vic: ROTFL!!!! This is AWESOME
Rob: Tired of using blankets like this asshole?
Vic: LMAO!... Side effects of wearing it include heart failure, herpes, and super herpes.
Rob: "So creepy Dads can lie in a seductive pose"
Rob: lol
Rob: "Sarah's not getting a date for the prom, look at her"
Vic: ROTFL!!!
Rob: I think we need Snuggies, Honey
Vic: lol
Vic: it's a backwards robe!!!
Rob: Fine, when I am sitting there comfy cozy in my Snuggie, and you are shivering, don't come nuzzling on my Snuggie!
Vic: LOL
Vic: Will your Snuggie have a cock hole?

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Rob: "Honey, don't throw that perfectly good crust out!"
Vic: *shaking crust at Rob* "I'm PORTUGUESE! Do you really think I am going to throw away perfectly good crust, I am throwing away my napkin!"