On the handles of people in a gay chat room:

Vic: Hmm... "watching" is looking for a serious top. Aren't we all!? Nothing annoys me more in the middle of sex than when the guy fucking me starts to giggle.
Vic: "uhhhh....uhhh.... hehehe...hohoho.. hahaha!!!"
Vic: "stop laughing and get back to thrusting!"
Gary: go fucka go fucka go fucka ::makes the ghostwriter noise::

::cracks an egg on a frying pan:: A blog is a terrible thing to waste.

How did the pig paint? Did he put the brush in his mouth or was his tail dipped in a paint can?

wow... I'm sitting here watching a pig paint on Live with Regis and Kelly.... I've really, truly hit a new low.

Jen: So we get back to the school...
Vic: And then the car exploded and you all died, the end?
Vic: ::grin::
Jen: Yes, and I'm talking to you from the great beyond :P
Vic: Is Jesus eating a hamburger?
Jen: Nope. The hamburger was eating him.
Vic: LOL.
Vic: I can't even picture that
Jen: I'm picturing Jesus' sandaled feet hanging out of Hamburglar's mouth
Jen: Announcer: "we love to see you smile!" Christ, from inside Hamburglar: "I'm not smiling, goddammit! Sorry, Dad..."
Vic: .....
Vic: ::finally starts breathing again::
Vic: WOW.
Vic: ::gives you a notch::

I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts...
I'm too sexy for my land, too sexy for my land, New York and Japan...
:P

GARY: "I'd love to be heiled on a regular basis for no good reason."

Jen is attempting to write a paper on why the young kill for her criminology class
JEN: wow... this sucks. I wish I could just press my nose and my paper would print out of my mouth.
JEN: the ideas are in my brain.... they just won't form a coherent analysis
GARY: ::makes sheep noises to help you::
JEN: "What leads them BAAAAA to do commit crime? Is it bAAAAiological impairment? Psychological BAAAAA problems (perhaps stemming from abuse)? Social BAAAAAAmaladjustment? "
GARY: ROFL!!!!
GARY: ::gives you a notch::

Baby shampoo: It's not just for sandwiches anymore.

From the Rutgers Career Services website: "As liberal arts graduates enter the job market, their direction may not be as obvious as that of their technically trained counterparts. But the fact is that liberal arts majors, if they learn to target their aptitudes, have as good a chance as anyone else to find meaningful work."

Vic: ::snortgiggles:: that's the kind of thing you say to retarded children.
Gary: I think I've heard that about re.. grr!! get out of my head!

Gary: "Invite the dancing Peep into your home and into your heart... by letting it drill through the door and your rib cage up into your body."

See? It's already too late for this one!

"Once they reach the packaging area, the Peeps automatically move into their trays which are then overwrapped with clear film." That's because Peeps get their souls when they are separated by human hands and the JustBorn company refuses to be directly responsible for the death of anything with a soul.

Jen 7:10-13
"¹⁰And then She heard Its voice. 'Jen,' It beckoned. 'Yes, Beefaroni Can?' she asked. ¹¹'Eat Me, for I bring eternal yum' ¹²So She heated It up. And She saw It was Good. Very Good. And She ate it. ¹³Amen."

I am your squirrely godmother! I will grant you any wish you desire! All you have to do is kiss me! That's right, come closer! KISS ME, DAMMIT!!!!

Dear God,
Could you do me a favor and let me wake up to find a hot guy laying beside me in bed tomorrow morning? It's the least you can do to make up for "The Lone Gunmen".
Thanks,
Jen

They'd be wondering why they don't live a little closer to the ground, of course.

!!! :D

Vic: ::turns you into a boulengerie::
Vic: ::buys a baguette from you::
Vic: ::turns you back to Gary::
Vic: There. My need for french bread is sated... for now.
Gary: Your parents made you breathe in Pledge furniture polish when you were a child..didn't they?

"Solitaire is just like masturbation. Only with cards."

Printed on the packaging of my antifog/anti static wipes for my glasses...
"Warning: Do not use internally."
WTF!?!?!?!?

Leaving Woodbridge Shopping Center:

Jen: "Can we see the 'Eat Me' sign from here?"
About five seconds pass...
Jen: "Did I just say 'Eat Me'?!?"

"Go clean the bathrooms, God!"

At Dunkin Donuts
"I wonder why there's so much light coming out from under that counter."
"Well, you see, GOD happens to work at this particular Dunkin Donuts..."

Tank: "I'm sorry, Jen. You rolled a six. No brakes for you!"

Me too... and my camera was in my POCKET. :P

Wow.... in all my excitement last night... I completely forgot to take any pictures. :P

Vic: "What's with the fan motif?!? What could it MEEEEAAAANNNN?"

Thomas Harris: "Hmm... what's the most stupid death I can come up with? Ooooh! I know! I know! Death by boars!!!"

YAY! Exams are over and I think I got at least a B on all of them, if not better! YAY! However... brain cells are now in hibernation... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Conversation on AIM:

Meli: Oh home home on the range where the beer and cigarettes roam
Vic: ::little bottles of bud go running by chasing some stray packs of marlboro::
Meli: *chases them*
Vic: me too! whee! :)
Meli: They'd better be menthol... that's all I'm sayin'
Vic: ::runs out of breath while chasing the beer and cigarettes and dies right on the spot!::
Meli: *takes all your catches*
Meli: You won't be needing them where you're going, buddy
Vic: ::blasphemously resurrects on the third day to wash away the sins of the world... oh, and to take back what he caught::
Vic: :)
Meli: *giggles*
Meli: Now I have to get my fat ass up to catch my own... great.
Vic: lol :)
Meli: I'll probably have a heart attack doing such

Vic: "On the next Charmed: Pru feels the pain of the whole world... literally" that is SO a Charmed plot
Gary: ROFL!!!
Gary: wow...
Gary: I love charmed plots...
Gary: Phoebe gets shot...back in time! So the sisters go back in time to save her!
Vic: ROTFL!
Gary: It's Valentines Day on charmed, and an evil demon has stolen cupid's ring of love and is going around, breaking up marriages! (that's an actual plot, I saw it)
Vic: WOW. LOL :)
Vic: An evil warlock casts a spell that makes brunettes repulsive! :P
Gary: LOL

They may not have been much snow, but WTF is up with all the ice? Between that and the wind, the power keeps blinking off and on, and attempting to eat the brains of my computer and my answering machine. Oh, and Dear Raritan Valley Community College, Why won't you give us off today? You do know that you service the two most rural counties in NJ, don't you? There are sheets of ice covering all of our twisty, turny, mountainous roads. And of course, if the school is open, I *HAVE* to go, because I have exams this week and I don't think my professors give makeups. So fuck you.--Jen

I, Banana Torres, Australian Hispanic Beer Banana and former US President do hereby declare the fake snowstorm to be really bogus. Boo.

Dinosaur rape... don't let it happen to you!

Snow... uh... good God, y'all... what is it good for? Absolutely Nothing! wait... I think that's going to be the title of my next journal entry....

Dear ABC,
Kathryn?!? KATHRYN?!? Wow, I NEVER suspected Kathryn (And THAT is why I'd never win on The Mole... Well, that plus I'd never get on the show because I'm not photogenic and I'm too young and... well, anyway...). At least now I can finally start watching the WB again and I can finally get some sleep again on Tuesday nights instead of letting the show invade my head. :)

Guiltily (but not too guiltily) waiting for Mole II,
Vic