While watching a DVRed episode of The Martha Stewart Show on Maker Faire:

A disinterested Martha talking to Latina girls about a bike they modified into a giant "Girlzilla": "So you're the designated driver?"

Girl: "Yeah."

Rob, talking for Martha: "You know, Brown Girls, we have something in common. I went to jail, too!"

[Vic dies laughing.]

Later...

Martha, still bored, but trying hard to comment on the EggBot: "It looks really complicated."

The inventor: "It's really not."

Vic: "Math: It works, bitches!"

While watching "I Didn't Even Know I Was Pregnant":

Woman, upon finding out she is not only pregnant but in labor: "What am I going to do?!?"
Vic: "You're going to have a baby, that's what you're going to do."
Rob: "Too late to do anything about it now."
(beat)
Rob: "Blog that before we forget about it."

Vic: http://order.1and1.com/xml/order/tariffswitch;jsessionid=3AA6968C87C66437C97320FFFAE672B7.TCpfix141a?__frame=_top&__lf=Static free .com for a year... "no strings attached" hmm

Gary: They probably either put something awful on your computer or they ask you to hide a body in your basement. That's my guess anyway