Vic: oh! grr... i never bothered with a trip to the eye doc to get fitted for contacts.
Jen: why not?
Vic: it slipped my mind. just like the porn shopping expedition i had to go on :P
Jen: lol
Jen: we could do that next time we hang out :P
Vic: yes, that sounds like sooooo much fun :P
Vic: ohhhh...
Vic: LOL!!! DER
Vic: i thought you meant getting fitted for contacts
Jen: LOL! Yes, I want to make sure you select the right kind. :P

Jen: I wish I had shitloads of money to hire my own goons.
Jen: I want goons.
Vic: LOL
Vic: what will your goons do?
Jen: anything I tell them... such as kidnapping hot guys for me
Jen: stealing 2001 pontiac grand am's from GM dealerships
Jen: feeding my dogs
Vic: LOL
Jen: I don't think I would have them blow up a boat that my sister and her fiance were on, though
Vic: ..... WAIT.....
Jen: hm?
Vic: never mind, brain spasm :P
Jen: LOL... ok
Vic: I didn't recognize the reference at first and so i was all "Wait.... Jen never mentioned a sister before... WTF?!?" :P
Jen: ROTFL!!
Vic: but then "boat" stuck out in my head and i went "ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Jen: yes, but we keep her in the basement and dont talk about her often.
Vic: ROTFL!

When you're driving down one major highway, passing an exit ramp which also serves as the entrance ramp onto another major highway.... well, it's just a very bad thing if your car decides to shut down at this point. Very, very bad.

So I'm sitting here at almost 2 am in a gray t-shirt and my black PJ pants, wearing my glasses and sipping on a glass of water..... and wearing my red sparkly hooker shoes. I don't know why. They're red and sparkly and make Jen happy. I feel like that serial killer whose name escapes me, who used to dress up in the skins of the women he killed to feel excited. Yay me.

LOL... I was listening to the Opie & Anthony show, and O & A were discussing a ride called The Titanic that they had seen at a carnival. Apparently, the guys were horrified over this ride because it was based on a tragedy, and they were wondering exactly how long you must wait before you can poke fun at a disaster. Never ones to shy away from mocking something, they started describing possible rides at a virtual Disaster Theme Park:

• TWA Flight 800 Log Flume
  
• Hiroshima Funland (or something to that effect)
  
• Columbine Paintball
  
• Hitler's Haunted Bunker
  
• Jon Benet Ramsey Whack-A-Mole
  
• Susan Smith Car Pool
  
• Puerto Rican Day Lawn Sprinkler Game
  
• Paula Poundstone Slumber Party
  
• Phil Hartman Shooting Gallery
  
• Chandra Levy Hide & Seek Game
  
• Ted Kennedy Log Flume -- Go out with your girl, but only you return!
  
• And if you get hungry.... there's always the Donner Party Buffett.
  

I'm really starting to like O & A. :P

my youngest brother got a car.... 16 years newer than mine and every single thing in working condition... meanwhile, I discovered another affliction that my car has: in addition to lack of fuel injection, horrible gas mileage, spinning out in anything that's not a dry flat road, the roof coming apart, the little wand to adjust side mirrors falling into the door, the three (not four) crackling speakers, the gear indicator that's stuck over "park", the magical red "generator" light that keeps coming on, the cracks on my steering wheel (from sun exposure) that leave scratches on my hand, the squeaky right rear wheel, the busted seat belt catch, the strobe light in my trunk, the vanilla coffee stain on my passenger side floor, the left side dash light that goes out when it feels like it, the random shutting off while I'm driving, the difficulties the car has shifting at low speeds, the lack of freon required to run the AC, the (new) brakes that squeal and stick, the frequent cases of vapor lock which require me to remove and replace the gas tank cap, the crooked bumper, the rust spot on the door, the horrible pickup speed.... what was I talking about? Oh yeah.... now, when it rains hard, the hollow inside of my driver side door fills with water. I discovered this when closing my car door and hearing a watery whoosh noise... after close inspection, we found plugs in the drain holes in the bottom of my door. Yay.... this is my car. Older than me. And slowly but surely falling apart.

I wonder if I should be worried about the company I work for.... first I found a plant that looks mysteriously like a pot plant growing behind the store... then the DEA was in our store, checking on fraudulent prescriptions... then I find a box of cigarettes containing marijuana in the store, presumably left there by a customer... then someone working out of one of the stores in the area is being fingered as a drug user/dealer.... and I've also found out about some inappropriate relationships between employees in the area stores.... I wonder WTF is going on? My job would make an EXCELLENT soap opera.

I tried to cancel my free AOL again, citing slow connections and frequent disconnects as my reasons... my AOL helpdesk agent's solution? Uninstall and reinstall the software.... and for my troubles, my one free month of AOL has become two free months of AOL. I could get used to this... just call up and bitch every month and get yet another month free of AOL.

So I just tried to cancel my AOL free trial.... and my member services rep couldn't help me because the AOL computers were down. If that doesn't speak volumes about the level of technical support AOL provides, I don't know what would. :P

AOL would be so cool if they fixed a few things:

1. Faster connections
2. More stable connections; less spontaneous disconnects
3. AOL IM and AIM should be the same format
4. Get rid of the annoying AOL internal browser
5. Lower the price!

If only the above were true.... I wouldn't be canceling my FREE TRIAL. Shit must really suck if it's free and I'm canceling it.

J-Mo: I think I'm a compulsive liar
Vic: why?
J-Mo: because I lie to strangers for fun :P
Vic: lol. so do i.
J-Mo: ah, ok
J-Mo: "oh, vic does it, therefore it's okay."
Vic: lol
Vic: exactly
Vic: think of me as the pope, except you don't have to believe i pee rose-scented water like a good catholic :P
J-Mo: ROTFL!!