Melissa: ugh this fucking hurricane better die
Jen: i can't wait til you move out of FL
Jen: so i can go back to rooting for the hurricane in the battle of hurricanes vs. the South

Dear moron,

Just because you are oblivious and missed your clearly marked highway exit does not mean you have license to drive across to grassy middle of the interchange. Please correct this problem immediately by driving yourself into a telephone pole.

Hugs 'n' kisses,

jen

They come from France

Once upon a time, in the not-so-olden days, I was going to college and taking an American Lit course ass-early in the morning two days a week. On the first day of class, my professor wanted to start things off with a reading of an Eskimo tale. In a sarcastic tone, she asked the class, "And we all know where Eskimos come from, right?"

One student, not realizing that the question was rhetorical, raised his hand. Before the professor could call on him, he blurted out, "France".

"What?" the professor asked, clearly about to go into shock. How do you get out of high school not knowing the answer to this question?

"Eskimos come from France," the student repeated. What was sad was his confidence regarding the correctness of his answer. As if we were the morons for not knowing Eskimos came from France.

My professor then politely attempted to give a short version of Eskimo history to this rube, and I will give her credit because she did not once have to stifle a laugh OR a scream of horror. I, however, went home and wept. I wept for one reason, and one reason only: in a year, I would be receiving my diploma alongside the very ass who insisted Eskimos came from France. That diploma would be absolutely meaningless. Apparently, they just give it to anyone who pays their tuition on time and shows up for class. Including those who believe Eskimos hail from France.

Vic: I want a William Shakespeare action figure.
Jen: only if I can have a Poe action figure :)
Vic: They sell them in that shop whose name I've forgotten across the street from Secret Stash :-P
Jen: awesome
Vic: lol. poe action figures :)
Vic: or a Jesus rubber duckie,
Jen: lol
Vic: Who wouldn't want to bathe with Jesus?
Vic: lol
Jen: LOL
Vic: ROTFL.... And then I started visualizing that....
Vic: "Why, Jesus... why are you cutting yourself with that razor blade?"... "So you can wash away your sins WITH MY BLOOD"
Jen: LOL EW
Vic: Or if you want to go porny....
Vic: "Jesus, why are you undoing your robe?" "Eat me!"
Vic: Aaaand, I'm going to hell. lol
Jen: LOL noooo