Calico kitties and uncovered titties/Abortion clinics in large Northern cities/Flagrant butt pirates all wearing cock rings/These are John Ashcroft's least favorite things....
--some guy's profile on salon.com

Jen: did i ever show you the proof that Ozzy Osbourne is my real dad?
Gary: don't think so
Jen: compare this to this
Gary: LOL
Gary: you need a hobby

While watching Nightline
Ted [to person he's interviewing]: "Well, how does one become gay?"
Me [at the screen]: "Well, I'm glad you asked, Ted. First, you fill out the application and send it in along with an essay and the $50 application fee. If you're accepted, you go to gay boot camp for three weeks where you learn how to put together a matching outfit and the difference between off-white, peach, and creme. Then, after the six month probationary period, you're officially gay."

While Watching David Blaine's Vertigo
Vic: geez. david blaine... just jump already... and do me favor and miss the boxes!
Gary: how exactly is that magic again?
Vic: it's magic that anyone cares
Gary: LOL ah

RIP William Fishie
05/11/02 - 05/17/02
:( sigh.

You know I couldn't resist posting this

Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it - New York, New York
These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray
Right through the very heart of it - New York, New York

I want to wake up in a city, that doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill - top of the heap

These little town blues, are melting away
I'm gonna make a brand new start of it - in old New York
If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you - New York, New York

New York, New York
I want to wake up in a city, that never sleeps
To find I'm a number one, head of the list,
Cream of the crop at the top of the heap.

These little town blues, are melting away
I'm gonna make a brand new start of it - in old New York
If I can make it there, I'm gonna make it anywhere
It's up to you - New York, New York

"As Dr. Phil says, a friend is not someone who asks you to stick his penis in your mouth."

This is why I love listening to Opie & Anthony. You never know what's going to happen... HOAX-LEERY COPS PROBE RADIO CALL-IN SLAY CONFESS

Jen talking about her new pets
Jen: so I cleaned the bowl last night... this time I put some pebbles at the bottom... but they still look so bored
Jen: I have an aquarium in the basement but I dont have anywhere in my room to put it
Gary: well, how exciting would it be to live in a goddam BOWL
Gary: there aren't even any corners to relax in
Jen: sometimes they swim along the bottom sucking bubbles off the rocks
Gary: my brother used to do that

According to "Access Hollywood", Ally McBeal is the symbol for the modern American woman. If this is the case, I am now declaring myself a man.

Paul: GOD...
Paul: you're so right.
Paul: Big Money messes up your arm.
Vic: LOL! toldja!
Paul: But it's so fun!
Vic: so are most drugs. your point?
Paul: Games are my anti-drug
Vic: LMAO
Paul: what's yours?
Paul: :D
Vic: masturbation
Paul: Sweet.

Vic and Gary discussing possible things to do on an NYC trip
Vic: how do you feel about seeing the vagina monologues if tkts has tickets?
Gary: i'm not sure i wanna sit down for x number of minutes to listen to someone explain the humorous intricacies of their pooky
Vic: how about the naked boys?
Gary: i don't mind their pookies

Vic and Jen discussing a possible day trip to NYC
Vic: BZZT!
Vic: damnit
Jen: rarr?
Vic: i'm on a tourism site...
Vic: that just reminded me that fleet week is at the end of the month
Vic: lol
Vic: sailor... tasty sailor
Jen: mmmmmmmmmmm
Vic: why couldn't it be sooner. then we'd totally have something to do :-)
Jen: -something + someone
Vic: LOL

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Vic: ::dies now::
Jen: aww why?
Vic: no reason
Jen: ::dies with you::
Vic: yay
Vic: we'll be evil ED (think Viagra :P) demons
Jen: ROTFL!
Vic: LOL :-)
Vic: "BOO!" "AHH!" making men flaccid everywhere. ::snickers::
Jen: LMAO
Vic: or better yet....
Vic: we'll seduce men into cheating on their {girl/boy} friends and that's how they become impotent. that way we're the ED demons of justice. and we get to get off
Jen: ROTFL
Jen: I want to blog this
Vic: WHOO!!!
Vic: :-)

Who's your daddy?? Find out @ blackhole

I knew it.

Vic: i start a quick game of nethack, go literally 3 steps before i get this: "A little dart shoots out. You are hit by a dart. The dart was poisoned. The poison was deadly..." game over :P
Gary: mahehe
Gary: -ma
Vic: lol! mahehe :P
Vic: and gary turns into a dolphin :P
Gary: LO
Gary: +L
Gary: dammi
Gary: +t dammit!
Gary: ROTFL!!!!
Gary: +!!!
Vic: LMFAO!!!!

The muffin tree said nothing as it was a tree and trees don't talk.

kill me now

It's April. In New Jersey. The normal temperature should hover somewhere in the 60s. Last week, it was in the 90s for 4 days, almost breaking 100 at one point. Today, it was 38 degrees. Tomorrow, the low will be in the 20s. There is a chance of wintry weather this week. People were SWIMMING in the lake by my house five days ago. WTF, I ask. WTF?